Feeling Better

Hi bloggy!
Today actually my thumb is feeling hurt. I peeled the hard skin but, unfortunately it also peel the soft skin and I was bleeding. So it is kind of hurting me when I press space pad on the keyboard. However, I really want to tell you about my feeling :(
Haha so here I am coming hereeeeee :D
You know????
I told my feeling to....ehmmm what should we call him? Mickey? too cute. Jenggot? everybody will knows it literally. Mr. X? too mainstream lol.
Apa yaaaaa? hahaha
Maybe we can call him with Mr. Nyebelin. Yes, he is so nyebelin. Because he is always replying with cold responses to my messages.
So, I told my feeling to him. Which is not like saying "Hey, I LOVE YOU!" nah nah. I dont really sure this feeling is a LOVE. Maybe just liking him because he was so sweet to me, respected me, and treated me right as a woman. That I have never gotten from the other man/boy in my life.
Haha yes, that is the reallity, bloggy!
I have never found any. Maybe I just haven't found one yet. But I found him.
Stop being too much about him, per -_-
Okay okay back to the topic. I told him that I can not stop thinking about him. I also tell him that "It doesn't seem like I get another chance to meet you in person to say this so I tell you now". Literally, my heart beats dropped when I was saying it!
Feels like I really never ever to meet him anymore in my lifetime, forever. And I always imagine that thing to prevent me on hoping he would feel the same as me, or he will ask me out again and spend time together to watch movie, having lunch, hang out in the coffee house, eating pizza together, watch movie on his laptop, tickling each other.......wait wait wait, this is not a time to flashback Periaaaaal!
Oh my Lord, I am sorry for any unstable feeling. Because I am one of the galauers-_-
After I said what is really in my heart, I feel so relax.
I won't regret anything. I won't expect more anymore then becoming a cool girl.
There are many fish in the sea.
Yah, I dont really need a boyfriend for now. I will have a lot of time being alone, relaxing, having body treatment at home, or hang out with friends, especially with my bestbestbestbestfriend that really knows me from my normal to my crazy lol.
It is really new for me because I always have somebody to send me message everyday, been so sweet to me, says love me more than 5 times a day, sending his selfies to me to realize how lucky I am having a handsome bf. But that is not Mr. Nyebelin. That was my LDR bf lol.
To be honest I have some people that really care about me, tell me that I am pretty so dont have to be worried about being alone in  long time, wishing me be a gf of one of them, or some just literally saying that they really love me.
But I feel that they are just too early to say that serious thing. Many of the guys I met on internet. And we met not from a long enough time ago. When I heard they said love to me. I was like, "Really?".
I dont know how long I will feel this way, really need a someone but not ready to loving or to be loved.
I really happy to know there s somebody loving me. But I am still afraid of loving back. Even to start to love someone. I'm really scared of being broken-hearted girl.