Let Me Help Myself

It was too much to holding inside myself. Wanna complain about everything that has happened, wanna deny the people who blame me, wanna go away from the grumpied people around me. everyone just give me boring, sad, uncomfrotable.
Thankful enough I was found the one who can make my day is not waht i was said. He makes me listen to him, smile, and amazed with his sweet smile and sexy eyes. Also with my besties that always cheer me up whenever I'm down. Eventhough they never knew what the hardest thing I felt. They just make me happy all the time when we are together.
I dont know if there are no Danijel, and my bestfriends. They are my power of living. My power to be readu to face the life.
I'm never get any apreciate or reward with what i have done. Great thing. Even when in my birthday.
There was nothing special except Danijel's messages, friend's birhtday greetings. The time when I got almost perfect GPA in college. They just say "ooh, congrats" what-_-
And lets look to my brother, he always give them bad news. Impromtu marriage, his wife gave a birth with caessar, and the last is he is in the jail because of he fight with a guy!
How much money that my parents need to help his casses?? many million ruphias. That big amount of money must be enough for my school tuition until i get bachelor degree.
But what is that for? WASTING MONEY FOR USELESS THING THAT MY BROTHER HAS DONE.
Yes, he is my brother. But this is my right to have jealouse feeling of what I never had and one of my siblings had it from my parents.
But what my parents give to me? long sad story, complainment, bad mood at home, blame me with everything wrong, and many many things that describe they are not appreciate me as a nicer daughter.
But everything is gonna be change. I know what my needs. I dont give a fuck

All I Want Is See You

Long Distance Relationship.
There is the time when you feel extremely wanna hug the person that you love but they are not next to you. You just can have an emotionally contact without physically contact.
It doesn't mean you have a reason to looking for another one around you that can be there beside you, hug you, kisses you, and even cuddling with you that you've imagined. Being in LDR means you are in the challenge of your love for you are both love. But that is not impossible.

Unfairness Life

Sometimes I got time when I feel everything were unfair, cruel. Everytime problem comes and solved. Hard to solved every problem that made from siblings or parents. Its okay if I have my own problems, I'd able to solved by myself. Many times got from another in family. Wanna blame them, but I cant. Wanna tell to anyone..how come? This is family's problem. Little chance to tell any one even if they are so close to me.
I've been tryin to be good daughter for my parents eventhough they're not give me everything. I'm proud enough to be their child. They give me love and lesson how to be survive in different type of people.
Trying to make parents smile in every stories that I told, give them my best grade at school, tell them my passion. Yeah, I'm happy they support everything I do.
Support in word is doesn't mean so much for me. Yes, I must to understand with what things that divorced parents could do. Everytime I just get bad connection, missunderstanding, and madness. Whatever they talk about one another, I'll never hate one of them.
I need to reach my passion by myself. Get best score, go around the world. Europe is the best destination!
Yes now I can learn how to survive by my own way. I make it step by step.
No more drama for life. I'm doing that I think that'll change my life, family, people looked.
I dont know, I'm starting hate to cry. That is boring, isn't it?
Just keep your head up and make change to positive things.

IT IS HAPPENNING ALL THE TIME

Everybody that just been in love will know this feeling. Missing about the one that we love, his voice, his eyes, his smile, everything.
I know this is hard to keep it as sweet as first we met. There'll be many trouble.
We live in different continen, timezone, temperature, culture. But who care? I love the way he loves me.
I learn about how to see the God has made for His amazingly create. Many times I say thank to God.
And learn how to tolerate with differencess. That is interesting for me, a lot.
Everytime we're away I'm thinking about him, just feel like he is exactly next to me. I speak to a mirror, imagine my reflection is him. To see his eyes, he is smiling. Then laughed because I know i was talking with myself like a crazy.
He usually takes picture what he doing and send to me, me either. That is what we do every we are missing one another of us. Many things that he did to show his love.
I even never mention how many miles that we are away anymore. Because I dont feel that the distance is our problem. He is understanding me, kind, sweet, many beautiful things that couldnt described in words.
Saying love when he doesnt hear it, hug him in afar.
Danijel, this is for you. I love you with all of my heart. I love the way you tell me that you love me, tell me about your life, a joke, and even if you tell me a lie. I would love it. Would love to slap you hahaha. Noooo, just kidding :P (seriously dont try it :D)

Our Moments

Everything is Green

Photos of  his classmates sticks on his forehead lol

Oyeah, you're right

Leaves me for awhile..look that rubbics, green!

Shaving time~

Finished! his flawless face amazed me*o*

Take picture again with the shout out lol

VERIAL

BERLYANI

My inisiall, oh God help me breathing

As cute as always

Those are our moments. Eventhough we are in about 6.563 miles apart, we still had good time to talk together. Being crazy, we are weirdos! haha
Hope it is will be long lasting. He is just i was talking about in my pray to God.
Thank God that you give me chance to know this guy.
Best crazy guy that always gives me laughter. Thanks, once again :)

Funny How Time Flies When Your In Love

"And I promise, to love her for the rest of my life"
Really beautifull song of Bruno Mars. His romantic voice always amazed me.
But I dont need him to sing this song for me :D
Yes i'm in love rightnow. Never expected before that i could feel this way again. I was promised to myself just focuss to my study and career.
But then i met with this guy. The multitalented guy.
First time i talked with him, he said he making a song. Then he said he does athletics, run.
He also love to help his grandma, and has big nationalism. That was thaught me to love family, patriots, and do the best in every we do.
He has same age with me (y) but in my national birth card, i had about 3months older than him haha.
But my actuall age is younger one year than on that. So I am younger 9 months than him.
Okay, move to the first i met him.
We met in cyberworld. Yep, stupid site if i imagine about people over there site actually. Many 'horny' guys that always ask me boobs size, or will show me their 'banana' LOL.
But not for him!
That was normally introducing, say hai then talking about us.
And he tells me about his activities. So excited that he has many things can do.
Make song, does athletics, and the most speciall is..cheff!
Yes that is so amazing for me. He works now in restaurant.
Oh My God, i forgot to mention where he is from.
He is from Croatia, that has 6 hours before Indonesia. We met on November 2012.
We exchanged skype and facebook account. I saw his facebook, he was using picture with a girl.
I thought that is his girlfriend. But he said not.
We talked via skype, feel nervous but he makes me comfortable. Many things we shared together.
Learn about our language, our country things, and so.
Because he has 6 hours before me, we dont have many times to chat.
After he worked in restaurant, or in Sunday because me and he have free day.
We've been talk unlimitedly in day by day. Feel get more comfortable to share with him than my friend around me.
I liked him!
I knew that we are just being good friend. Who knows that I would have more feeling.
He is so sweet. I told him that in Indonesia doesnt have winter season and I really wanna see a snow.
He made many videos that show the snow around his house. Feel excited to see him showed the snow falling down from the sky, hold the snow and sprinkled down, and banked snow all over his house.
Untill he told me that he met with a girl, and he liked her. As a good friend, I asked who is the lucky girl. He sent me her facebook link. I saw her photos, "beautifull girl.. uncomparred with me. i'm nothing with her"
We were just talking just if nessecary. He said that he already purposed her and waiting for her answer.
Maybe if you read previous post, you know what happened ;)
Felt so lonely that he doesnt have time for me again. I back to cheer up myself everyday.
Listening many songs, watched funny videos to fill emptiness.
But suddenly I got long messages from him.
He said that he dreamt of me, i wore beautifull dress in Croatian beach. And i come over him, we walked around at the park, and kissing. He said he just wanna spend every free time just for me.
Oh God, what does his mean to tell me about that dream? kissing? we??
Honestly so happy to know that. But he said that he is in love with Croatian girl. Why somehow he tell me this.
Since that we back to the time when we talk much things. I'm not sad anymore :D
We have been 3 months know, talking, and sharing together.
He asked me a question "How much you like me?"
I wasnt sure to tell him honestly, but yes I answered honestly "You are speciall for me.."
Happily he said he has same feeling with me.
He asked me to stay, yes i will keep staying as long as he keep his loyality.
I'm tired of cheated by guy that wasting my time to waiting for him, i told him.
He said yes he will. I trust him.
We have plan to send package to eachother. I'm waiting for his package, because i still looking for courir that offer to sending package to Croatia cheaperly.
He told me the some of the things he will send to me. He sends me some letters, but that is not his own handwritting. But his mom :D
Oh yes, his mom add me as friend on facebook. That is makes me feel excited, and nervous to talk with her. I dont wanna make a mistake that would keep away her son from me ^^v
She is beautifull woman. I saw through her photos, I see Danijel's family photo. His mom, dad, and younger sister. He more like his mom's face :D
I hope this will be a good thing for us. Distance is doesnt matter for me, but the loyality is. I will be waiting for him if he keep his promise and will make it as soon as possible

about : Danijel Dunković :)